I've literally gone for 25 years without listening to music. Sounds unbelievable doesn't it? (is there a pun there). I avoided music, resented it, and couldn't be bothered to understand why others enjoyed listening to artists play their songs. I'll share with you why I felt this way.
I've been an athlete all my life. Growing up in a skiing community here in northeastern USA I raced from an early age, eventually becoming a ski instructor after college. I also was a bicyclist who would do 100 mile rides just for training. Unfortunately 25 years ago I had a significant bicycle crash where I fractured my skull on the road. Back then there were no hard shelled helmets, just those silly little leather helmets which we never wore.
I was in a coma for quite a while until the doctors decided to use 'new' technology, a CAT scan, and found parts of my brain that needed surgery. They operated, I came out of the coma with some temporary paralysis, a plastic plate in my head, and permanently lost the hearing in my right ear. After two years of recovery I was fine except I still would never hear in my right ear.
I found I had difficulty hearing conversations with my left ear if there was background noise. I learned to avoid places where there was music playing. I also could not hear singers clearly because all the sounds would layer on top of each other. Literally I began to resent music, I would avoid it, and ask other people turn it off. Over the years my avoidance of music became a significant issue to the point of a quiet internal hatred.
This summer I was invited to a choral concert in Montreal, reluctantly I went to be polite considering I wouldn't have to talk much doing the concert. I sat next to a woman who was very much into the the music. As she listened I asked her to close her eyes and 'feel the music'. I watched her, and realized that she had cried during the song. I asked her afterwards what she felt. She said she couldn't explain it right then because there was too much to tell. That surprised me. Later she explained how music has a life, emotions, and feelings for her. It was the first time that I had ever thought of the concept. Please understand, music had been my enemy for all these years.
The next morning I was warming up on a bicycle turbo trainer for a bicycle race. A friend of mine walked up and said "Liz listen to this song" he put an iPod ear bud in my ear, first time that has happened. I heard the singers! Within thirty seconds I was in tears, the song was beautiful, and I could actually hear the singers and the instruments clearly! I didn't give the iPod back for half an hour, I kept playing that song over and over and over.
Later on in the week I asked the woman if she would share her music with me. She gave me her Jeff Buckley - Grace cd to take home with me. She said listen to songs 3, 4, and 6. Our Last Good-bye, Lilac Wine, and Hallelujah. When I listened to them in the car, I cried. I have listened to those songs over and over again.
I started to ask people what their favorite songs were. What I've found is music is universal. Everyone loves some music. They don't all like the same music but they like some music. If you ask anyone what their favorite music is they all will have some songs to tell about. Even the grumpy old man at the gas station will smile and tell of his favorites. I've found a universal ice breaker. When they ask what I like I tell them I have twenty five years of void to fill and I can honestly say I have no idea.
After coming home I decided to order an iPod for my birthday. My mom even contributed to the purchase, bless her heart. [She was by my hospital bed through the whole ordeal and prompted the doctors to do the CAT scan.] I take the iPod with me everywhere, even on my bike rides. I have an old stereo that I dragged out of the barn. It's not the best, but it kind of works. I plug it into the computer and use the ear bud or a head set with it. I've bought CD's, downloaded music, borrowed and copied music, and found people are more than willing to share their music. It's an amazing new world to me.
I find people love to talk about music, their favorite musicians, songs, instruments, or concerts. I have friends who are musicians and music teachers, who are teaching me about music. I'm listening to music that was popular when I was growing up in the sixties and seventies and everything in between then and now. I'm even listening to music from before I was born.
I listen to every type of music that I can find. When someone posts their favorite lyrics or CD here on b.com I race to find the songs on the web to listen to. I've become greedy to make up for the twenty-five years.
I now hear the singers through that little ear bud. I can feel the emotions, I cry, I smile, I see the world created by the songs. I have become aware of the different instruments in the background, the highs of a trumpet, the lows of a bass, the beat of a drum, the swoosh of a cymbal, I listen now. I am starting to recognize singers voices that I like more than others, who smokes and who doesn't, who hits the highs more, what lyrics are fun, which ones are sad, which writers touch me in the heart. I recognize the beats, the rhythm, the dancing music, I even understand a bit about the genre's. But I'm still learning and getting 'help from my friends'. It's all good.
I am so thankful for everyone sharing about their music. I am also so thankful that after 25 years I "feel the music too".
Liz
